Global Youth Ministry Network - Asia

Agapē has an onward focus.

One of the dangers of fellowship that leaders fear is that the youth within the group might get to like each other so much that they become unwelcoming of newcomers and make it hard for new youth to fit in. Growing groups into agapē does involve the danger of becoming an exclusive group.

Also as the fellowship becomes like family, like families there may be bickering and fights. Growing up I had a love-hate relationship with my brother. There were times when we would be the best of friends. But quite often our differences in temperament and perspective would rub against each other and we would end up disagreeing on everything and fighting. Youth groups also tend to follow this trend. Minor differences turn into major disagreements.

In the Bible there was such a group who had their differences. There was one person who believed he could eat anything, while another who only ate vegetables. Another person felt a special day should be set to honor the Lord, while to someone else all days were the same. Each one it seemed was fully convinced of his case. Apostle Paul gave this prescription for that group:

The one who observes the day, observes it in honor of the Lord. The one who eats, eats in honor of the Lord, since he gives thanks to God, while the one who abstains, abstains in honor of the Lord and gives thanks to God. For none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself. ~Romans 14:5-7

He then turned the focus to Jesus concluding with: “Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men. So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.” Romans 14:18-19

The same prescription can be applied to us. The way for our group to not become combative with one another as it grows is that each person must continue to look onward to Jesus. As we look toward him we begin to see that we can work together even in our differences. We begin to live for him and not for ourselves.

Living for Jesus would also prevent us from being exclusive as the quality of His love for us is such that we would also want others to know and share in it.  You can begin to lead this onward focus in many ways: By showing your passion for Jesus in your service to him. In speaking about him not just during group meetings but even in casual conversations. And including him in every aspect of your life.